The Stars Incline, They Do Not Determine

austindragon @ 2006-01-31T09:05:00

2006-01-31T17:18:56Z

I am becoming exactly the person i don't want to be
and the rage of it all is strangling me
a couple of sparks, it used to work, a couple of sparks to lend life to a body
that gives a couple of jerks and then grinds to a halt.

in response to chrose bitching about marriage

2005-12-16T01:43:43Z

yeah, really godamn, i hate it when people 'round me get married.
cause you KNOW you ain't going to see them again - not in the same way
your bud might as well be shot in the head and buried,
'cause attached at the hips with a ring of gold that bitch is here to stay,

suddenly its not cool if you just drop by; everything's scheduled, everything has to fit,
and your not part of the lego land of blocks taking over your buddy's life bit by bit,
and its sick
married people
their lives footprints in concrete
solidifying, hardening, excising....
engagement, marriage, children; downsizing
growth stopped, yet arrogantly acting elite
as though full maturity is ONLY found at a priest's feet.

When friends of mine
marry i won't deny
I feel betrayed inside
and i'm pissed, and i'm jealous cause i don't have a girl
even when i'm looking at them and it makes me wanna fucking hurl.

yeah, yeah, yeah
i wish 'em well,
i wish 'em luck,
and soon the dreaded deed is done,
and i see my friend smiling instead of on the run

I watch them walk together past the pews -
and as i take a deep breath - my anger somewhat released,
a guilty, sad thought strikes, and silently i muse:

"goodbye my friend - rest in peace."

yup

2005-12-03T00:55:33Z

I just got promoted.

But wait....
Its quite possibly one of the worst promotions ever. And getting worse as the days go bye.

I got onto the risk management/payments team.

What does that mean? It means i get to learn how to navigate and take care of 3 additional databases, listen to credit card, fraud, wire transfers, and payment problems by even more highly irate customers than the regular calls i take. But wait, i also get to take my regular calls as well. But wait, i just got out of rookie camp, so i barely know what i'm doing as it is.

But wait. The training was 6 hours that didn't make any sense, and the trainer kept saying "don't worry, just ask your shadower/it'll all make sense when you shadow on friday"

BUT WAIT - today, they cancelled our shadowing, and instead decided to just drop us into the escalated payments cue!

oh and the next two weeks is going to be hell cause its the holidays, and we have mandatory overtime (10 hours atleast).

yeah, and the ringer, my friends, is that ....

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'M NOT FUCKING PAYED ANY MORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

indeed.

2005-11-15T01:16:01Z

Star Wars Horoscope for Aquarius

You can be cruel and torment people who disagree with you.
Deep down, there is a peace-loving, friendly side to you.
You have a knack for inflicting pain on people and use your intellect during battle.

Star wars character you are most like: Darth Vader

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

yechhh

2005-11-01T19:00:58Z

I'm sick. Boohoo is me. You know, anytime i'm sick i feel guilty for taking off work or school or whatever. Its like i keep saying, "but i'm not as sick as that one time (enter in when i was puking my soul up or had pneumonia)...." So today, i channelled all the powers of Matrim "Mana" Davis (who steadfastly does nothing even if mildly sick) and said to hell with it. I'm sick. Fuck! So i called in sick yesterday, and today as well, not looking behind, back to turned to guilt, face forward to recovery, and not working, and life, and liberty and with clenched fist thrust strongly in the air, i say YEA, VERILY i feel better having made the decision!

But you know what i mean right? You feel sick, but you get that lightning thrill - the thrill of being naughty cause it IS a little fun to be snug as a bug in your own home, making warm recipes, perhaps ordering in, watching movies, being DOMESTIC. Especially after pirating around College Station, trolling for booze, women, and parties. Yarr.

Speaking of CS, i had a blast. Both parties went from boring to awesome. I'd like to write an extended piece comparing a party to the eucharist. Some parties. You're there, and your floating....you know some people, but its like, eh. Whatever. And then something happens, ever so slowly. Your click starts melding with other clicks as the music and noise start elevating into a steady rhythm that echoes the beat of the body and blood of christ that you have just ingested (booze, drug of your choice) - and pretty soon, the whole party is unfolding, revealing itself before you.....like seeing the face of God. Maybe. Anyway that's kinda what happened.

That and i got into an argument with an idiot philosophy major and started doing the whole sideways insult - you insult the person, but you do it in a nice and friendly manner. Its devilishly evil, i've had it done to me before. It takes me a couple days to realize that the person was insulting me to my face, but then its too late, cause its out of context and they're not there and you'd look petty bringing it up. I think i called him "bourgeois" which is the worst four letter word you can fling at a continental philosopher, but he took it like man sitting down to pee. HAhahaha, god i love that sideways insult thing. And I've never called anyone "bourgeois" before, hahahaha, how high class of me, lol.

neighbor

2005-10-06T08:49:44Z

Mj and Josepy came out to Austin today. We went to EMO's with 3 of their friends. Talked to this girl named Stephanie that I met at EMO's. Then we came back to my place and hung out with my upstairs neighbor.

And then it hit me. My upstairs neighbor is the biggest loser there is. I don't normally say this about people. But godamn. Let me reiterate to nail the point home, and emphasize i am occasionally wrong about these things. But i don't think this time i am wrong. Here's the repitition again...

Godamn.

the most ridiculous convesation of all time

2005-10-01T20:03:51Z

me and cardwell on a lazy saturday afternoon

AgDragon01 (2:31:11 PM): 10 days to go

Art Vandelay AIA (2:34:45 PM): yeah baby

Art Vandelay AIA (2:34:59 PM): i think i might take a nap in a few minutes

Art Vandelay AIA (2:35:06 PM): i tried earlier and was unsuccessful

AgDragon01 (2:35:40 PM): no check this out

AgDragon01 (2:35:48 PM): i went from sleeping

AgDragon01 (2:35:52 PM): to getting up in the morning

AgDragon01 (2:35:55 PM): where i lay in bed

AgDragon01 (2:36:00 PM): and then decided to take a nap

AgDragon01 (2:36:20 PM): so i transitioned from sleeping to napping without getting out of bed

Art Vandelay AIA (2:36:18 PM): so, you never really left your bed?

AgDragon01 (2:36:25 PM): yes - do you see the genius?

Art Vandelay AIA (2:36:28 PM): yeah dude, you didn't have a nap

Art Vandelay AIA (2:36:33 PM): you went back to sleep

AgDragon01 (2:36:34 PM): yeah i did

Art Vandelay AIA (2:36:36 PM): no

Art Vandelay AIA (2:36:47 PM): you can only nap after you've gotten out of bed and dressed

AgDragon01 (2:36:37 PM): nooooo

AgDragon01 (2:36:48 PM): i think if you were in my mind, you'd definitely call it a nap

AgDragon01 (2:36:52 PM): that's totally not true

AgDragon01 (2:36:55 PM): its a state of mind

Art Vandelay AIA (2:36:58 PM): no way

Art Vandelay AIA (2:37:15 PM): the only way you can get around the not dressing thing is if you transition to the couch

AgDragon01 (2:37:10 PM): if your still fuzzy - and not truly awake, - say when you slam your hand on your alarm

AgDragon01 (2:37:14 PM): THEN, you go back to sleep

AgDragon01 (2:37:22 PM): that's different from being totally awake and coherent

AgDragon01 (2:37:29 PM): for a good while i must add

AgDragon01 (2:37:34 PM): and then going back to sleep

AgDragon01 (2:37:36 PM): difference

Art Vandelay AIA (2:37:26 PM): no, you went back to sleep

Art Vandelay AIA (2:37:35 PM): you can be awake and still go back to sleep

AgDragon01 (2:37:48 PM): yes, perhaps, but when your going back to sleep, that action is a nap

Art Vandelay AIA (2:38:00 PM): you can wake up, go to the kitchen, get something to eat, then get back in bed and that's not a nap

AgDragon01 (2:38:15 PM): ok that's ridiculous

Art Vandelay AIA (2:38:19 PM): IT"S NOT A FUCKING NAP

Art Vandelay AIA (2:38:28 PM): i will not be deterred in this

AgDragon01 (2:38:30 PM): you get up and get a snack and then fall back asleep?

AgDragon01 (2:38:36 PM): that's actually quite amazing

AgDragon01 (2:38:43 PM): the most i can make it to is the bathroom to pee

Art Vandelay AIA (2:38:43 PM): yeah dude and that is not a nap

AgDragon01 (2:38:49 PM): cause if i need to pee i can't go to sleep

AgDragon01 (2:39:10 PM): an annoying little feature of this particular avatar of mine

Art Vandelay AIA (2:39:06 PM): so if you get up and are coherent enough to pee and like get a drink of water, then get back in bed, is that a nap?

Art Vandelay AIA (2:39:37 PM): because that requires consciousness, and by your definition therefore a nap

AgDragon01 (2:39:48 PM): there are levels of coherence - i can get a drink of water, talk to a friend who just call me, stop my alarm and reset it, and get up to pee, all with a very small level of coherence

Art Vandelay AIA (2:39:58 PM): but i say it is merely going back to bed

AgDragon01 (2:40:08 PM): not at all - again, there are degrees of coherence

Art Vandelay AIA (2:40:12 PM): how long were you awake before this "nap"?

AgDragon01 (2:40:24 PM): its not so much a time distinction mark, its how awake i was

AgDragon01 (2:40:33 PM): and i was at level 100 wakefulness

AgDragon01 (2:40:39 PM): hence the nap aspectation

AgDragon01 (2:40:47 PM): whereas normally when i go back to sleep

AgDragon01 (2:40:54 PM): i'm at level 25, or "fuzzy"

Art Vandelay AIA (2:40:48 PM): if you were at a 100, then you wouldn't have been able to take a nap

AgDragon01 (2:41:22 PM): it’s a testament to the level of my skill at laziness that i am able to go from full level 100 coherence back down to the nap level

Art Vandelay AIA (2:41:23 PM): i just dont think you had a nap

Art Vandelay AIA (2:41:33 PM): a nap requires you to build up to 100, then build back down

AgDragon01 (2:41:38 PM): which i did

Art Vandelay AIA (2:41:46 PM): alright fine

Art Vandelay AIA (2:41:48 PM): you had a nap

Art Vandelay AIA (2:41:50 PM): goddammit

AgDragon01 (2:41:58 PM): cause, if you check my other stats, you'd see my laziness skills are also at around level 90

Art Vandelay AIA (2:42:14 PM): what are your hit points?

AgDragon01 (2:42:18 PM): oh dude

AgDragon01 (2:42:25 PM): like 5 - i'm a total bitch nowadays

Art Vandelay AIA (2:42:28 PM): i have 84 agility

AgDragon01 (2:42:40 PM): what're your hitpoints:?

Art Vandelay AIA (2:42:45 PM): 7

AgDragon01 (2:42:53 PM): hey atleast your better than me

Art Vandelay AIA (2:42:59 PM): hit points only go to 12

AgDragon01 (2:43:16 PM): oh - i thought they went higher
Art Vandelay AIA (2:43:23 PM): um, they can

AgDragon01 (2:43:31 PM): oh but that's with special items, huh?

Art Vandelay AIA (2:43:35 PM): yeah

Art Vandelay AIA (2:43:54 PM): i can reach a 14 if i use my "wrath of the gods" level 2 spell

AgDragon01 (2:44:22 PM): i know i can reach atleast a 10 with my burka on

AgDragon01 (2:44:52 PM): this is quite possibly the most odd conversation i've ever had

Art Vandelay AIA (2:45:01 PM): yeah, as soon as i defeat the minotaur then i'll be able to get the "blanket of biju" and increase my laziness stats

Art Vandelay AIA (2:45:23 PM): yeah i was just thinking i'm going to have to save this. possibly send it to james b/c this is pretty damn funny

AgDragon01 (2:46:02 PM): yeah

AgDragon01 (2:46:06 PM): wow.

austindragon @ 2005-09-30T23:49:00

2005-10-01T04:50:48Z

a couple days ago i was driving around austin at around 4 am and i stopped for some cigs, and a homeless dude tried to sell me a car battery for 10 bucks. I passed.

if it were 5 bucks, it would've been a different story.

Two Dawns

2005-09-21T19:45:24Z

I went home and saw my favorite singer. Dr. K.J. Yesudas. He's a south indian singer of Classical (Carnatic) Indian Music. Ever since i have existed, this man's songs have been in the background. Anyway, i finally got to see him live.

At first i was rather annoyed - for some reason when a group of indians in america gather in one spot, it makes incredibly annoyed. Beats me, call me rascist. There rude, annoying, push to get there way, think only of themselves.....i was grinding my teeth in fury, especially when they start jostling my parents, who are tiny. Especially my dad. I might not get along with them alot, but godDAMNIT, they're MY parents, and if anyone has the right to jostle them around its me, not some indian fucker who think he's a black rapper with no respect for other people. Naturally when thee doors opened people started trying to cut in line so i muttered to my mom about people cutting - and she didn't hear me so i yelled it REALLY LOUDLY - "I GUESS PEOPLE ARE CUTTING IN FRONT OF US - THAT"S REALLY AWESOME!!!" and everyone stared at me, and i glared back.

ANyway, we finally sat down, and my mom was shitting her pants because apparently we were sitting right next to a pretty famous south indian actress, and we had to sit through some speeches by people in the indian business community who have some low-level political aspirations who put the show on. My dad was almost crying in laughter - they were the worst trainwrecks of speech writing - mind you, the guy was READING his speech, and he fucked it up badly. It takes skill to fuck up THAT badly. anyway my irritation was mounting, and i thought the concert would suck.

BUT THEN HE ARRIVED

this man...i can't even describe it. he started singing, and he had absolute total control of his voice - i mean, pitches and alterations that mariah carey does, times 10. The guy is so technically gifted its sick. and his voice.....his timber.....well, how do i put this? Have you ever seen two sunrises back to back? one sunrise is beautiful, but two, is amazing, and back to back, amazing still. Twice dawns the day when this man sings.

He did everything off the cuff - people started yelling for songs, and he did ragas, he did religious music, he did film music (he's known by most people as a guy who does film songs, but he started out and stays true to his classical roots, and kinda gets annoyed when people ask for film songs), and get this - he did songs in 5 different languages - Malayalam, Telegu, Kannada, Hindi, and Sanskrit! Just off the cuff, when people yelled him to do a song in a diff language he'd pause, and go....hmm, ok, yeah, and immediately start going. SIGH. It was beautiful.

bretteastonellis

2005-09-17T23:32:29Z

james came into town on thursday night and we tooled around austin eventually going to i heart video and they offered us a beer which was really cool and he said he really liked austin then we tooled around some more and went around 6th street and a group of skanky looking girls crossed our paths and james horny and away from his wife for the weekend went apeshit about a girl with her boobs falling out and ass they passed there was this gawky looking guy at the corner and james banged on the car window and mouthed "did you see that shit!?" and the kid goofily nodded his head in an affirmative we drank some more and watched the machinist and yeah christian bale is really skinny but other than that and the vague similarity to fight club it sucked and james woke up early the next morning but pulled a fukko move and didn't leave at 7 am but left at 12 or so missing half of his convention.

Then Smallhands came into town yesterday and we went to sixth street and this girl was advertising this one bar and asked us if we were meeting someone and i said no we're just tooling around and she goes well atleast your honest and i said yes and maybe we would come back and take that shot of jagermeister with her and later on we did but the bar was really empty and then we came back home and ozzy was back already from college station so we got drunk as lords talked about the philosophy behind music and had really great conversation and then went to kirby lane to eat and i don't even remember what i ordered i don't think i could see at that point and we were really loud i'm surprised they didn't throw us out and when we walked outside it was light outside i think 7 am or so and then we talked some more and played around with my blood pressure machine and past out -

Hot Baylor Chick is coming in town and i'm supposed to tool around with her and alan is in town too and apparently there's a thing going on tonight with rachel and joshua and i don't know how i'm going to work out all this but hey its funny cause normally i don't have anything to do so it should be fun boy when it rains it pours and then i gotta get up early tomorrow to visit my parents i think ozzy is going to look at this post and find fault with the title and say brett easton ellis doesn't write like that that's bullshit but i connected it in my own mind not in what's there cause honestly i've never read him maybe its more like salinger but i don't remember its been a long time since i've read him.

Jackass

2005-09-11T19:23:42Z

Well, this weekend was rather interesting. Cardwell came into town, stayed the night on Friday. Charlie H. came into town from D.C., and i chilled at his parent's beautiful timeshare with him and johnny fever, who brought his guitar and sang. Got to meet charlie's sister, whome i have never met, and they were watching the big t.u. football game that i didn't give two tugs of a dead dog's dick about. So i ended up chatting it up with charlie's mom, which was very interesting - she told me places in austin she'd been, and about life, the universe and everything - she was really quite cool. She's pretty sure, oddly enough, that she had met my dad a long time ago when her friend had cancer. Small world.

But all of this is to soften the ground for what really happened, on friday night. I acted like a total jackass around cardwell, and i really feel quite embarassed about it. We proceeded to polish off all the beer that we had - which was alot, and then finished off the bottle of rum, which was also alot. By around midnight or so, we were drunk as lords, and that's when i started acting winey, and lost all emotional control whatsoever, and proceeded to go completely and childishly insane. I think i drunk dialed 5 people - none of whome answered (though i think that was before i went insane). I had some vague notions of inviting them over, but thank god they didn't come.

But the odd thing is, i kinda felt that way at the end of the housewarming party - i started yelling at james for no reason (and normally, i have plenty of reason) and he called me on it. But it was more than crankiness, it was a total emotional loss, i could've just broke down and started crying. In fact, i think i did start crying with cardwell. and trying to put my fist through the mirrors in my bathroom. Those are strong mirrors. The only connection i can think of between those two nights, was that i was taking some sort of painkiller - equate i think - and i usually never take that stuff, and if i do, i don't drink that day. So i'd like to blame the painkillers, but as cardwell said - "it might've just been the massive quanitites of alcohol, you fukko."

Anyway, i apologized to him, and told him that let's promise never to speak of that night again. He said he honestly didn't remember much of that night anyway. I think he was just being nice.

hello

2005-09-09T08:25:30Z

I was watching Biju from hiding spot Alpha-3 at the corner where the living room meets the kitchen. He's been on this weird 'learning how to make indian food' kick - made a mean grilled chicken yesterday - had me licking my paws in anticipation. The bastard never gave any to me. And he was pissed cause his chicken curry today didn't quite work out the way he wanted it to. The dumbass put too much heavy cream while making it. I'm watching that heavy cream. The bastard never offered any of that to me either. I'm going to claw him for that. If he ever spent any time away from my apartment i'd be shitting in his bed when he was away.

-Gizmo C. Cat

Success!

2005-09-08T02:13:35Z

YEAH!
i finally got around to making tandoori chicken - and godamn if it didn't turn out great
i was nervous, cause, you know, otherwise i'd be kicked out of india and stuff. But seriously, it tasted great - i had it all plattered out - two rounded half circles of basmati rice that ozzy made (with a dash of turmeric and 5 spice) with thinly sliced tomato on one side all fanned out, grilled onion rings fanned to the otherside, with the tandoori sliced at an inclined fanned on top, with toasted peanuts tossed on top. That and a red wine leftover from the party. Ozzy (a big fan of tandoori chicken) said it was as good or better than the stuff he got at indian restaurants in California. I think i turned a little gay tonight, i'm not going to lie. Sigh. Tandoori Chicken, check. Next up, Chicken tikka masala, and next....the world?

austindragon @ 2005-09-02T01:25:00

2005-09-02T08:44:56Z

Man. I've been reading alot - starship troopers by robert heinlein, and two asimov books. Looked a bunch of random shit online, like buddhism and japan and zen. Wikipidia, i have realized, is god's gift to me. Personally. Trying to learn how to cook indian food - made a 9 spice blend, and tried to make a chicken curry using the basics of this book i have and trying it on my own. Ozzy was hacking and coughing when i made the spice blend, it really fucked with him. Must remember to make a note of this weakness in my files. I'm going to try to make something out of the book tomorrow, maybe tandoori chicken.

Talked to a couple of friends i haven't seen or talked to in a over a year. 3 said they are definitely coming, so that should be interesting. Its weird, i used to compartmentalize friends alot back in the day - always hung out with friends seperately and they never really met each other, but i guess over the years i've just stopped worrying or trying to guess if groups of friends will like other groups. I think my world turned upside down when i introduced Dirty and Mana, two people i thought would never in a million years get along. Too bad none of the Crocker people are coming.

So it should be amusing seeing how all these people react when jumbled together. Ofcourse, i'm not planning on anyone really coming - less than a quarter of the people i ever invite ever come to anything anyway - but it never did matter - i'll have a good time anyway. Hell me and ozzy getting drunk alone is fun enough for me. But hopefully James will come - he will come if i have to drive to dallas and bring him here. Which he'll probably make me do - that should be neat, especially if Huling shows up - it'll be a fukko reunion AND an apotheosis reunion.

wait...that wasn't oregano?

2005-08-27T07:20:27Z

Dear Diary,

Today was a good day. I'm in a new town, surrounded by strange and questionable creatures. Everything is new, and although its good to be in a new town, its somewhat alien, and difficult to get used to. First of all, there are people here with strange markings on their skin. When first I spied them, I naturally asusumed that they had ink on them, for most of their markings were black or blackish-blue in color.

On close inspection, I realized that these markings were actually somehow a part of their skin, and do not rub or wash off. I also began realizing that they were not the same on every person. At first I only saw people with "ink" on their lower backs - especially girls. At the time, I naturally assumed that these girls were a part of some monastic order. But no, to my surprise, I found that these markings can be anywhere, and may even be different colors!

Diary, I have finally realized that these are not humans as we know them, but rather a different breed all together. Just as the spots of a cheetah are not all the same, so too are the pelts of these creatures varied. What is truly amazing is that they talk and walk exactly the same as humans! However, certain differences stand out.

Other than their unusual markings, they have piercings all over their body, clearly some quaint religious custom along with the unwillingness to cut their hair. Also, they tend to congregate around rooms filled with loud music, always played live and in smokey bars. This appears to play a part of some sort of primitive tribal heirarchy, as the phrase "yeah, i'm in a band," carries a great deal of weight. These curious creatures also have a habit of inhaling some sort of smoke, produced by a fragrant green herb burned in small glass pipes of remarkable beauty and elegance. These pipes are especially amazing in light of the fact that they only posess rudimentary tools and science. Clearly, this species requires a great deal more of careful study and examination.

I have taken to calling them......Homo Austinite